@Yankeegiant72: ... and on the eighth day, Satan created teenagers.
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@doktorj: Me: *pooping with the door open* Olive Garden Mgr: "I know what the slogan says ma'am, we aren't THAT kind of family."
@SteveKoehler22: When I hear the word "aftermath" - it always makes me hungry. At school, lunch period followed Math class, so we ate "aftermath"
@DomBorrett: Making jokes on Twitter is a lot like making jokes in real life. Except without the frightened faces of strangers on buses