@Yankeegiant72: ... and on the eighth day, Satan created teenagers.
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@Discourt: For a tiny person unable to wipe herself after she poops, my toddler has managed to hit me dead in the eyeball with 4 things today.
@Dawn_M_: Just once I'd like the guy hired to kill me to complete the job and not fall in love with me.
@FatherWithTwins: 4yo: I want to play squirt guns Me: You mean when you squirt me all day and laugh, and if I squirt you, you cry? 4yo: YES Me: Okay, let's go