@themorris23: And remember kids, when you go to Target, there really is no "non creepy" way to ask where the Vaseline is.
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@crunchenhancer: What's the difference between carbon monoxide and spouses? Carbon monoxide is a silent killer.
@Wine_Honey1: If you ever come home and I'm in your house naked, I'm not stalking you. I just needed to borrow your wine opener, mine broke.
@rainbowrowell: These protests are PLANNED. These opposition groups are ORGANIZED. My enemies are USING CALENDARS. Someone signed up to BRING DOUGHNUTS.
@highwaytohelv: I'm getting concerned that Beyonce never told those single ladies to put their hands down and now there's a bunch of unfed cats out there.