@kumailn: "And remember to talk to everyone like they're a 3rd grader." - flight attendant manual
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@david8hughes: [911 call] "My hand's stuck in a blender!" "Turn it on then." "What?" " I can't hear it, turn it on so I know you're not lying."
@tamberinetango: Chances of my kid no longer liking their 'favourite' snack the day after I bought the Costco size box of it? 210%