@kumailn: "And remember to talk to everyone like they're a 3rd grader." - flight attendant manual
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@lakeanagirl: I like to take an empty Krispy Kreme donut box to work and sit in the break room and watch all of the disappointed faces
@Midgetspar: Remember: You can kill someone and wear their skin as a suit, but it's not identity theft until you use their debit card. Be smart about it.
@marinhubka: I moved to LA 9 months ago and I've just been circling around this whole time looking for a parking spot.
@TheRolo: 911: What is your emergency? Me: I love you. 911: Hang up. Me: No you hang up. 911: Stop. Me: This is so us.