@kumailn: "And remember to talk to everyone like they're a 3rd grader." - flight attendant manual
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@clindsaysway: When no one stars a tweet, I tell myself it was probably appreciated by hundreds of shy people.
@velcrofannypack: Directions: avoid contact with eyes "It's Ok, Shampoo, I feel shy sometimes too."
@chrisdelia: Me: *Asks question on snapchat* Them: *Answers question on snapchat* Me: "Wait, what did I ask again?"
@DurtMcHurtt: Sorry I changed your ringtone to Salt-N-Pepa's "push it" and called you a bunch of times during your colonoscopy.