@jenlaw_11: And satan said "let all the opinions of strangers on social media have an absurdly large effect on you" and it was so
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@MarfSalvador: Neighbor: Oh your baby has beautiful big eyes! My wife: Yeah, like his dad Me: *Stares suspiciously at our gardener Sauron*
@Storminika: Good things about drinking on the plane: 1. You don't have to drive. 2. No matter how much you drink, they can't throw you out.
@_Tempo11: If you leave your dog tied up outside a corner store I'm walking it. No need to ask. Be back soon.
@venkaiceprinces: Looks like I'm finally going to meet my twitter crush, don't know if I should diet or let him find out the hard way Im good w camera angles