@jenlaw_11: And satan said "let all the opinions of strangers on social media have an absurdly large effect on you" and it was so
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@jordan_stratton: "I want frog legs." -Fancy restaurant order or the coolest plastic surgery request ever
@rockymomax: [date] ME: do you have kids or pets? HER: a son and a cat ME: what are their names? HER: John & Batman ME: nice! my son is also named Batman
@BradBroaddus: 1) Jumped out of bed 2) Cooked breakfast 3) Ran 6 miles 4) Worked out 5) Started lying compulsively
@joejwest: WRITER: A drifter & a rich lady fall in love WALT DISNEY: Can they be dogs? WR: A woman steals a couple's baby WD: Can the baby be 101 dogs?