@samalmightysam: And so the devil decided to put the delete key above the send key. The end
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@BrendanHealy4: Wife texts husband 'Windows frozen', husband texts wife 'try bucket of warm water', wife texts husband 'computer not working at all now'
@warbird622: Teenage son gets academic honors every year in school, yet he can't cut a straight line with a lawnmower. I believe I am being played......
@NYC_Blonde: Mom: Wanna help gift rap? Me: In West Philadelphia born and raised on the playgro-- oh you mean WRAP? Nah homegirl you're on your own.