@samalmightysam: And so the devil decided to put the delete key above the send key. The end
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@OhNoSheTwitnt: This creepy guy at work calls me "hun" despite knowing my real name so I've started calling him Mulan.
@NikiWithIssues: There was a piece of chocolate cake in the fridge and a note "Don't eat me".Now there's an empty plate and a note "Don't tell me what to do"
@TheCiscoKidder: The length of time toddlers stare at each other on the playground would get you stabbed if you did that shit as an adult.