@causticbob: And that, Romeo, is why we usually try to take a pulse first.
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@OhNoSheTwitnt: (Me giving a Rorschach test) What do you see? Patient: A house and Me: Wrong it's Batman. Ok this one? Patient: I se Me: Nope. Batman again.
@AristotlesNZ: Him: Ha! I got your ATM card. Me: So? You'll never guess my PIN. Him: Is it 6969? Me:.. Him:. Me:.. Him:. Me: Seriously dude, give it back.
@_correctomundo: Nephew: What's love? Me: Well, all the women text you except the one you like. And it hurts, so we drink. Sister: Get away from him!
@juliussharpe: The Super Bowl is a great opportunity to let 200 million people know your ad agency sucks.