@causticbob: And that, Romeo, is why we usually try to take a pulse first.
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@zachreinert03: finally sold everything that reminded me of my ex. kinda nice, I got $20 for her clothes, $50 for her tv, and $100 for our kid
@dumbbeezie: Thank you to all the people who tweet landscape pictures so we don't forget what it looks like outside
@MarloMeekins: 1. Get preg 2. Transfer ur soul to fetus using Satanic alchemy 3. Give birth to yourself 4. Old body dies 5. Be a baby