@causticbob: And that, Romeo, is why we usually try to take a pulse first.
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@DanMentos: Fun Prank: put a live turtle and a tiny pair of nunchucks in your toilet before your guests arrive
@GrantTanaka: never underestimate the power of positive thinking, and also never underestimate the power of waving a tire iron or a gun around
@AristotlesNZ: Nothing solves all of life's biggest problems like a well-timed, awkward & overly complicated kick to the face. -The Karate Kid.
@THEDUTHCHESS: Woke up last night and the ghost of Gloria Gaynor was standing over my bed. At first I was afraid, i was petrified.