@BonaFideIntent: ....and that's how I ended up laying on the bedroom floor with a potato stuck in my ass.
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@Kendragarden: I say "Have a good one" instead of "Have a nice day" because I'm so mysterious. One what? You just don't know!
@SaraESpivey: I may eat animals, but at least I wait until they're DEAD. Plants are ALIVE, vegans. You disgust me.
@AtticusFinch79: [bakery] Him: This wedding cake is perfect for us! Look at all of the tiers! Me: Definitely not happy tears Him: What? Me: What?