@BonaFideIntent: ....and that's how I ended up laying on the bedroom floor with a potato stuck in my ass.
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@alfageeek: My wife is getting rid of all the clutter. If you see the kids and me standing out by the street, it means we didn't make the cut this year.
@skitzoette: As I looked at my naked body in the mirror, I thought to myself: "I'm going to get thrown out of this home depot in a minute."