@Mulva74: And the he told me he was kilt shopping.
So, apparently I'm married to Braveheart.
@Sal0630: I thought a drone was the sound women make when you're trying to watch the game?
@daemonic3: "Welcome, teachers & parents, to our community school assembly"
*gestures to 237 IKEA boxes*
"Let's begin! Who's got the Allen wrench?"
@archpics: Hilarious Architecture Fails
@capricecrane: I bet that Heimlich was just a perv who molested people from behind, and one time accidentally saved someone from choking.
@Sophie2078: Never date an intelligent, incredibly handsome, wealthy man. He's a violent psychopath that wants to kill you
*things i learned from horrors