@Mulva74: And the he told me he was kilt shopping.
So, apparently I'm married to Braveheart.
@VodkaShorebird: The Dalai Lama and Gandhi aren't the same? I thought they were basically Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana. I feel like people are messing with me.
@tbhjustkoaIa: i love when people apologize to me about their rooms being dirty I’m just like lmao u should see my life
@GetCougarized: Whenever a guy boasts he has a party in his pants, I always ask him to prove it.
If he's not packin nachos, beer and M&Ms, I'm going home.
@zachreinert03: Fear is not the same is respect. For instance I fear bears but integrity wise they are huge pieces of shit
@ElgatoEsmio: I TRADED MY ALARM CLOCK FOR A KOALA SO I CAN SLEEP UNTIL HE STARTS BEGGING FOR LEAVES WHICH’S LIKE 3 DAYS