@ShoutingGoddess: And the Lord said, 'Let there be idiots.'
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@thatdutchperson: [does his regular grocery shopping] Cashier: having a kid's birthday party? Me: ...................yes.
@TheCiscoKidder: Mom: Some stranger keeps answering your land line. Me: That's because I haven't had a land line in 7 years, Ma.
@Jojo_51213: Freedom of expression is great... I can make a kissy face, smiley face or a frowny face, and there's not a damn thing anyone can do about it
@AmishPornStar1: "I'm here for the hookers and the booze!!!" "Sir, this is a library." *whispers... "I'm here for the hookers and the booze."