@Reverend_Scott: And then God said, "Let there be Black Friday." and he saw that it was a terrible idea but it was too late cuz people were already in line.
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@booyahchadly: Before sending a tweet l always test it on my wife first. If she rolls her eyes and leaves the room, l know it has potential.
@Elizasoul80: Trump, 2 years into his presidency: "What do you mean we can't just file for bankruptcy?"
@MatCro: ME: Michaelangelo painted the Sistine Chapel on his back? GF: Yep M: [2 hours later] How did he reach the bit between his shoulders?