@tchrquotes: And then one day we decided we were tired of sleeping in and doing whatever we wanted whenever we wanted in a clean house, and we had kids.
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@just1fool: I found a ten dollar bill on the ground once and thought, "This is as good as it's ever going to get. Buy some relish."
@aveuaskew: Installing home security cameras seemed like a great idea but explaining my dance offs with the dog was something I should've considered.
@mansizedthumbs: Little did he know that his foot powered filing system would have made him billions if he had only thought of a better name - The Ped-o-file