@Love_bug1016: And then Satan said, "save time ~ respond to her text with a K."
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@tehaveragejoel: "will..." *Starbucks barista squints at name on cup* "... the Red Slime Shoddy please stand up?" *Eminem flips table and storms out*
@weinerdog4life: I hate when people talk to me while I'm using the restroom, the other day, this guy was all like "Sir this is a display model at Home Depot"
@GreenishDuck: People with little chains that go from a nose piercing to an earring probably just got sick of losing their ears.