@Love_bug1016: And then Satan said, "save time ~ respond to her text with a K."
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@InternetHippo: [hell] Satan: Everybody get online & read stuff that makes you mad for eternity Guy next to me: Nooooo Me: I trained my whole life for this
@Lisa_Laughs_: Me: I can't work today. Boss: Why? M: My grandma died. B: Our grandmas died 20 yrs ago. M: ... -Why working for your brother is a bad idea.
@Chumpstring: I let people know that I'm no weirdo. I say "I'm no weirdo!" From that point forward, it's just a matter of keeping my mouth off their pets.