@Love_bug1016: And then Satan said, "save time ~ respond to her text with a K."
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@Brianhopecomedy: My wife said that we need to have a talk after my 2 year old goes down for a nap so I filled her sippy cup with Red Bull.
@Carbosly: When my boss asks me if I can "take a stab at this", I always hope she'll point to that coworker we all hate.
@3sunzzz: *4yo son, crying* I'm sorry! How was I supposed to know I wasn't supposed to cook the macaroni necklace? *sigh* Parenting is hard.
@OneStopComedy: Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.