@iamspacegirl: "And then the Bears mauled Goldilocks to death and ate her, reminding us that home invasion never has a happy ending."
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@SteveDutzy: FUN PRANK: Bump into Kanye in public, pretend you don't recognize him, and say "EXCUSE ME ORDINARY CITIZEN" Then watch how mad he gets.
@3sunzzz: This chicken is so moist, what is your secret? I squeeze a little KY Jelly into its cavity before heating.
@WeissBrandon: Cop: FREEZE, DON'T MOVE!!! Me: *stops moving* Cop: GET DOWN ON THE GROUND Me:... Cop: NOW! Me:... Me:... Cop: for the love of god...unfreeze
@StickyickyBuns: My mom always told me to treat people how I want to be treated but... It's not nice to just spank people & pull their hair.