@Love_bug1016: And then the devil said, "tell her to calm down."
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@WilliamAder: If I'm ever captured as a spy, all they'd have to do to get me to talk is put my house slipper on the wrong foot.
@ojedge: [on a plane] Stewardess: "Would you like a mint? It'll help your ears during takeoff" Me: "Sure, can I have two?" *puts one in each ear*
@MelvinofYork: I watched squirrels for like an hour and thought "they don't do ANYTHING really" and then realized I watched squirrels for like an hour
@simoncholland: When my wife asks me to do that one thing in the bedroom that she really likes, she's talking about vacuuming.