@SashaSavoy: And then whiskey said "tweet that, it's hilarious". But whiskey was wrong. So very wrong.
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@bobvulfov: One time i saw a man eat a whole apple, core and everything. Motherboard and power supply too. The man ate a computer it was horrifying
@Laser_Cat: In space, no one can hear you scream. Because it's space, and everyone is on the ground. What are you even doing up there?
@KalvinMacleod: HER: it’s over between us ME: is it because of all my embroidery puns? HER: I thought you would stop ME: sew it seamed