@SashaSavoy: And then whiskey said "tweet that, it's hilarious". But whiskey was wrong. So very wrong.
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@Tommytoughstuff: Here's another great thing about hot tubs [pulls out a bowl of fully cooked ramen from under the water]
@joshgondelman: "At least you're going to get a lot of material out of this," is comedian-speak for, "Sorry about your life, dude."