@SashaSavoy: And then whiskey said "tweet that, it's hilarious". But whiskey was wrong. So very wrong.
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@joejwest: I'm going to freeze some of my sperm so that if something goes wrong later in life, I can kill my nemesis with a disgusting icicle.
@TheTobbie: CASHIER: 300. ME: Ha, like the movie. CASHIER: Nice one, Seinfeld. ME: Ha, like the comedian. CASHIER: ... ME: Ha, like a mime...
@JediGigi: Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Me: Wow. Nobody's ever asked me that. Interviewer: Take a minute to th- Me: Arendelle.