@TwoSapphiresBlu: And they lived apathetically ever after.
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@Pro_Jones_: *Listening to red hot chili peppers* Me: You call that music? I can't even hear anything! Worker: Sir, stop putting produce to your ear.
@iwearaonesie: *pulls curtain back while wife is in the shower* me: Are we - stop screaming, it's just me- are we out of Cheetos?
@rebrafsim: Sensei: you have learned much, my child Nonsensei: flamingos are extremely inconsiderate