@badbanana: "And to my son Ronald, I leave my entire collection of mint-condition, never-been-opened LinkedIn Updates emails."
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@hipchkk: Apparently, some parents are not appreciative of a sweet super supportive air horn during a children's piano recital.
@kelkulus: They say don't dress for the job you have, but for the job you want. Still, I think I look pretty stupid waiting tables in a spacesuit.