@matt___nelson: [angrily taking off banana suit] "Why didn't you tell me we were going to a funeral"
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@myqkaplan: okay, so you're definitely the best at keeping your body completely still, what do you want, atrophy?
@mrtimlong: Every time I raise my arm a little, a falcon lands on it. It was super-cool at first, but now I'm starting to get annoyed.
@HomeWithPeanut: I have a solar eclipse every two minutes inside my living room ever since my toddler learned how to open & close the blinds.