@Nickadoo: Ann Coulter has managed to stay so thin because the last solid meal she ate was Hansel and Gretel.
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@jujuhounds: Girl: Saying hot is disrespectful. You should say 'beautiful' instead. Me: Ok. Me: Can you please pass the beautiful sauce?
@badAzz_mom: If you ever want your kids to communicate with you, just make sure you're talking to someone else on the phone.
@UncleDuke1969: Trapped beneath the feet of a bearded giant... Cut off from the world. Stephen King & Pixar present: "A BUG'S LIFE 3: UNDER THE GNOME"
@Parker_Simpson: It concerns me when someone comes out of the bathroom stall and has to wash their hands all the way up to their elbows