@DanMentos: *anna quietly knocks on elsa's door after olaf falls asleep* do you wanna kill a snowman?
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@samalmightysam: I don't know why Coca-Cola and Pepsi are fighting over what Santa drinks, everybody knows that big fat belly can only come from beers.
@amydillon: My life these days is basically the "before" segment of an infomercial for a revolutionary new mop.
@bzamayo: Android Oreo announced today; you’ll be able to update your devices by the time the next solar eclipse comes around.
@TheHyyyype: [my wife wants an expensive audi] ME: instead of buying 1 car for $60k we could buy 2 cars for $30k each HER: *rolls eyes* oh sure, then why not 3 cars for $20k each? ME: great point, could even do 4 cars for $15k each [an hour later] ME: how about 60,000 cars for $1 each