@Aspersioncast: Annoy your wife by saying “wow” every time a chick gets out of the limo on The Bachelor.
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@warhorse76: If she runs away I will pursue her. But since she possesses superior footspeed and cardio I may have to borrow someone's bicycle.
@murrman5: I don't get why you have to call my wife *librarian ignores me while on phone* "your husband is here trying to check out a book about ramps"
@novixv: Judge: I sentence you to 10 years Defendant: Well I sentence YOU to 20 years Lawyer: That's not how that.. Judge: [being cuffed] DAMN YOU