@Aspersioncast: Annoy your wife by saying “wow” every time a chick gets out of the limo on The Bachelor.
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@werehedgehog: *yawns so wide a bird flies into mouth* *closes mouth* *looks around to see if anyone noticed* *swallows bird* *acts like nothing happened*
@bad_as_you_want: My boss said , "Dress for the job you want, not the job you have." Now I'm sitting in a disciplinary meeting wearing my wonder woman costume
@junejuly12: Nothing like suddenly seeing a spider on the ceiling to make you realize you don't need a nap anyway.