@Aspersioncast: Annoy your wife by saying “wow” every time a chick gets out of the limo on The Bachelor.
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@Marilyn_Brando: [Shipwrecked diary] Day 1: I found a pen, and a notebook to write in. More pens. I might be in a Staples. Printer paper. I'm in a Staples.
@licensedtoverb: Maybe I'll starting bringing a spray bottle and treat them like misbehaving cats. "NO!" *Shoots person in face*
@caliraingirl: I love the smell of fabric softener through the outside vents when people do the laundry. I get a lot of restraining orders though.