@PJTLynch: Annoying how when you go to the orchestra, there's always that one wasted dude up front swaying and waving his arms around the whole time
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@Thedudish: Hey, remember me from last night? You gave me the wrong number but I found you on Facebook. I'm on your porch. Can I come in?
@LnL245: I secretly gave our Waffle House waitress a $100 tip and my family can't figure out why she's crying & hugging me & trying to get in our car
@goldengateblond: Just congratulated my ex on dating someone so young that her Throwback Thursday photos are just pictures of her pregnant mom. I'm a dream.