@EliTerry: another car tip: once a month, open the hood and rip out one thing. most of the engine is decorative and weighs down your car
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@hyperblastchic: Fried potatoes Mashed potatoes Baked potatoes Twice baked potatoes Potato chips -if Bubba grew up on a potato farm instead of a shrimp boat
@PastorBate: [Spelling Bee] Your word is palindrome "Can you use it in a sentence?" Go hang a salami I'm a lasagna hog.
@murrman5: [wife talking to me on phone 45 mins after I go to play poker at friends house] "stop crying for a second...what do you mean you lost me?"