@delusions_of: Another day, another police escort from Bed, Bath & Beyond.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@xLiserx: Me: *Reenacts the steamy handprint scene from Titanic as I gaze at an eclair inside a glass case* Clerk: You're making people uncomfortable.
@garrettbarry70: Wish I had the confidence of a small child having a meltdown at the shopping mall.
@FatherWithTwins: Someone cut in front of me in the salad bar line today. I didn't do anything because anyone who wants a salad that badly terrifies me.
@david8hughes: [planning heist] Me: then we access the vault Guy: I don't think they have a vault Me [mocking]: yeah I bet they jus leave the Mcflurrys out