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@elizabeth_fels: [Club] Me: *has debilitating crush on a nerd* Nerd: What you feel is a burst of norepinephrine increasing arousal and focus- Me: *swoons*
@wittwitbarista: See that sad girl up on the hill with tears ? That's not me..I'm the one over there running away from a goose with a corn dog in my hand.
@ShutUpThatsWho: HOT GIRL AT WORK: I saw Death Of A Salesman last night & I really loved it ME: [trying to impress her] I've murdered 7 pizza delivery guys
@ThaJawn: God: *holding a cat by its scruff* WHO MADE THIS? Resentful Angel: I don't know. You didn't? God: NO, it hates me and people Angel: weird