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@NottaBigDeal: I was listening to my wife argue with our 5 y/o. I didn't want to tell her he was right so karate chopped the TV to create a diversion.
@hythemafia: Sperm 1: "Geez I'm exhausted, how much further to the Fallopian tubes?" Sperm 2: "A long way, we've just passed the tonsils..."
@DiamondLou69: My co-worker was accused of flipping off the boss. I told HR that it couldn't have been him because he never lifts a finger to do anything.