@aRealLiveGhost: anti-tattoo people saying "my body's a temple" like they wouldn't worship at a temple that had an enormous mural of a tiger fighting a cobra
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@JennyJohnsonHi5: My Mormon neighbor said it was rude I assumed her husband's surprise birthday party invitation was also an invitation to be her sister wife.
@Amburglar_: When asked by the creepy guy at the bar "Why aren't you smiling?" my go-to answer is always "My yeast infection really is bubbling up."
@SwedishCanary: Thanksgiving is a magical time of year when families across America join together to raise the country's obesity statistics.
@maisonwithapen: HIM: isn't wintertime just so romantic ME (smiles & my lips crack open & blood starts pouring down my chin): oh definitely