@aRealLiveGhost: anti-tattoo people saying "my body's a temple" like they wouldn't worship at a temple that had an enormous mural of a tiger fighting a cobra
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@BlindChow: Though he came from a long line of spoons, Sammy Spork always noticed a slight resemblance to Mom's friend Frank, the fork living next door.
@Rebelling_Jyn: Why do I have to steal the Death Star plans? Nothing this big stays secret. Just Google them. There's probably a torrent somewhere.
@ramenfuneral: sent someone a text that said "you need medieval catheter" when i actually meant "medical attention" and i didn't bother correcting myself
@TheMichaelRock: Oh, did my tweet insulting a celebrity upset you? Maybe you should tell them about it the next time you guys hang out.