@CulturedRuffian: Any bar is a karaoke bar if you're drunk enough.
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@karencheee: Why do people say children are the future? They are clearly the present. Old people are the future.
@Sickayduh: [First date] Her: I'm really glad you asked me out yesterday in the park Me: *looking under table* you didn't bring your dog?
@AnitaHelmet: There's a skinny girl inside me who is just DYING to get out. She stole the last cupcake & then bragged about her metabolism, so I ate her.