@CulturedRuffian: Any bar is a karaoke bar if you're drunk enough.
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@Bob_Heller: You might want to read all of my tweets... so that when the movie comes out you can be all pompous and say the timeline was better.
@BeCoco77: I hate when Spotify is down and I have to listen to Apple Music on my 128 GB Rose Gold iPhone 6s Plus like some kind of homeless person
@AntozWolf: I got really excited when she talked about a motorboat date, but as it turns out, she just wanted to take a ride on the lake. *sigh*
@celticrose2312: Man at garage: "Are you claiming this off your own insurance?" Me: "Yes. I don't think the deer I hit had any insurance."