@matt___nelson: Any dog can be a guide dog if you don't care where you're going
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@fro_vo: Mom: if all your friends jumped off a bridge would you jump too Me: no Mom: how about 1 friend Me: what Mom: ok no friends & a ride there
@MariyaAlexander: I had this nightmare that Salma Hayek and Kevin Hart were trying to tell me something at the same time and expected me to understand it
@KeetPotato: me: "why was she called the little mermaid, she was 5ft7?" therapist: "i meant anything bothering you about your marriage keith"