@matt___nelson: Any dog can be a guide dog if you don't care where you're going
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@TheFearBoners: Forget the Home Alone parents forgetting their kid. Why the hell do they own a bunch of mannequins?
@SteveSuckington: They say you should play dead if a bear attacks you. That shouldn't be that hard once he snaps your torso in half.
@MacAnnabella: I don't want to hear about any moonlit romantic walks on the beach...unless there's a clown with a wooden club chasing you.