@myles_morrison: Any girl who says she's not the jealous type will change her tune when another girl phones you drunk at 3am.
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@ComicMikeV: Italian names sound delicious. Even Mussolini, sounds like a fried cheese that ends up oppressing your digestive process. #Italians
@zipoffs: just a good, friendly, light-hearted conversation that for some reason charmin initiated with me
@TheBoydP: *Wife sends me a link* *I click on link* *Buy whatever's at the link* *wait for delivery* ~Christmas shopping for my wife
@JasonLastname: On your first day in prison, walk right up to the nicest guy in there and break his heart.