@rolldiggity: "Any minute now. Any minute..." -Lincoln Logs, waiting for a phone call from Hollywood
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@aveuaskew: Killing spiders is easy and fulfilling if you imagine them whispering "You look fat in those pants".
@TheTweetOfGod: The people in charge of hell sometimes visit North Korea just to exchange ideas.
@LADaddy: The kids wanted the Zero Gravity Laser Racer, a toy car that follows a laser. I handed them a flashlight and pointed at the cat.