@RandiLawson: Any restaurant can be family style if the waiter criticizes your order
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@Nickadoo: I'm less upset with Lance Armstrong lying about taking performance-enchancing drugs than I am at Oprah for lying about retiring.
@rad_milk: I dropped a piece of cheese on the airplane and i know it rolled forward and some piece of shit in first class is enjoying it now
@gregmania: accidentally summoned a demon at IKEA by trying to pronounce the names of the furniture
@platinum2000: If you dropped two noodles on the floor, they would probably resemble my name more than my signature does...