@RandiLawson: Any restaurant can be family style if the waiter criticizes your order
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@shariv67: I was bitten by a radioactive vegan, and now I have the power to bore people to death.
@juanadog: Say, hypothetically, I was stuck in an air vent over a dressing room at Lane Bryant. What kind of legal issues am I dealing with?
@Manda_like_wine: Well, son, when a man loves a woman very much he expresses that love by slowly transforming into a human sloth.
@kellysdf: According to the NSA, most of my calls are me saying, "I forgot what you told me to pick up at the store."