@Roweboat13G: Any salad can be a Caesar salad if you stab it enough
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@OreoSpeedwagon_: After seeing a commercial for Toddlers In Tiaras, I realise Darth Vader wasn't the worst parent ever.
@leechee420: The package says "Do not eat raw cookie dough" but all I really see is "Pillsbury hates you and doesn't want you to be happy."
@deardilettante: Walking around cemeteries looking at headstones is a great way to come up with baby names.