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@Roweboat13G: Any salad can be a Caesar salad if you stab it enough
@Lisa_Laughs_: Guys I have to work a total of like 18 hours today. Someone hold me. Under water.
@ohpegah: ME (having a disagreement with a friend): I'd like to speak to your manager
@Steelers1972: I hate when our cat runs into the room, hisses at an empty chair then runs back out and I end up in the bathtub holding a crucifix.
@AmishPornStar1: Sweet potatoes are just regular potatoes that remember birthdays and anniversaries.
@jimmy_sharpe: I need professional help. A chef and a butler should do it.