@Boywhiz88: Any t-shirt can be an ironic t-shirt if you hate things enough
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@thepunningman: [doctors] "How long have I got?" "Not long. Two, three months" [casually places apple on desk] "Ok, ok, six. Just get that out of here!"
@robdelaney: Shouldn't there have been ONE scene in The Karate Kid where Daniel's mom was like "Why are you constantly in that old man's shed?"
@robfee: 1 Buy a racehorse 2 Hire a TMZ reporter as the jockey 3 Tell him a minor celebrities is drunk at the finish line 4 Win literally every race
@Kodotropo: *dad walks in on me doing homework* "HAH NERD MORE LIKE HOMOWORK" Dad you're still in third grade "Probably because I'm not a nerd like you"