@Boywhiz88: Any t-shirt can be an ironic t-shirt if you hate things enough
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@LaceyNycole: Him: How much do you love me? Me: A bit more than pizza. Him: Me: But not as much as coffee.
@dafloydsta: [job interview] Says here you're good with nicknames? "I don't wanna brag Super Cool Interviewer Man" *under his breath* holy shit he's good
@awordforaword: I finally got my first interview since moving to the US. Almost able to say something more romantic to the GF than "you're out of batteries"
@KenJennings: There's nothing more disturbing than the 1st time you hear someone you know using their "whooo's a good dog" voice.