@LilMoose77: Any time you see a mass suicide case on the news, you can pretty much assume the assembly of an IKEA product was the cause.
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@MiahSaint: This Kit Kat commercial is making some awfully big assumptions about both my generosity and number of friends.
@empressofsong: I am open to suggestions, comments, or glowing praise followed by many exclamation points.
@GrantTanaka: Waitress: Can I take this out of the way for you? Me: [glances at wife] uh…sure Wife: SHE MEANS THE PLATE, IDIOT
@Ms_WhateverV: Kids....because who doesn't enjoy a fun game of "What the hell is that smell and whose room is it coming from?"