@LilMoose77: Any time you see a mass suicide case on the news, you can pretty much assume the assembly of an IKEA product was the cause.
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@hammbone84: [On phone with Pizza Hut] Me: I texted my order 4 hrs ago! PH: Are you sure you didn't tweet it...again? Me: PH: Sir? Me: K. Love you. Bye.
@JohnFugelsang: Somewhere in Heaven... Abraham Lincoln: The ppl who claim to be my followers just totally misquoted me. Jesus: You don't say.
@MelvinofYork: My daughter gets all bossy when we’re playing with her Barbies, but I just smile. Then when she’s at school I play with them the way I want.
@Contwixt: Sorry but if these walls could talk I'm pretty sure they'd talk about wall things and not whatever scandal you're blowing out of proportion.