@CYComedy: Any wife can be a trophy wife if you bring her to a Taxidermist.
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@sass_n_ass: No thanks, Winter Olympics. If I wanted to see a bunch of white people playing in the snow, I'd hop on over to Facebook.
@100DollarChill: *Lysol kills 99.9% of germs on my counter* LYSOL: "Hey .1% germs... ( -_-)>⌐■-■ (⌐■_■) Tell your friends"
@slaughthie: My coworker was like "I love kids! Can't finish a whole one by myself though hahaha!" And I was just like wow I could easily eat like 5.