@CYComedy: Any wife can be a trophy wife if you bring her to a Taxidermist.
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@JennyJohnsonHi5: An email from my parents: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: Obama's a Muslim
@AGreaterMonster: Dear Applicant, Your résumé appears to be a string of stolen tweets. Congratulations, you're our new VP of Marketing!
@GrantTanaka: wife: some salmon travel hundreds of miles upstream just for the chance to spawn me: ok ok I'll take my shoes off
@batkaren: Ghostbusters (1984): A large, jovial marshmallow sailor is burned alive amid the crossfire btwn humans and ethereal beings.