@CYComedy: Any wife can be a trophy wife if you bring her to a Taxidermist.
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@juliussharpe: A lifetime of fire drills has prepared me to completely ignore the alarm during a real fire.
@truegritrumble: Greatest Fears: -Sharks -Ebola -Bears -Bear Sharks -Bear Sharks with Ebola -Sharks with Lazers -Man carrying a clipboard on the sidewalks
@asimplesean: Actually, until you cut into it it's chocolate *magma* cake. If you could just bring me a menu with the proper nomenclature that'd be great.
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: No matter what you do in life, I'll always be there for you. Wife: Stop making promises to the pig.