@infinityonhi: Anyone else always bring about 3x as many knickers as they need when they’re going away somewhere like oh just incase I piss myself every single day of this trip
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@shamans_heal: Pro Tip: If you leave an assortment of tissues, cold medicine, and a big bag of cough drops visible on your desk, coworkers will avoid you!
@JermHimselfish: Proper punctuation can be the difference between a tweet being well written and a tweet being well, written.
@SaddleLawman: Blood's thicker than water, so remember to pull back on the flour a bit when you substitute it into your baking.
@david8hughes: [donating blood] Nurse: you're looking faint. Can I get you a drink? Me: no thanks, I've just had like 60 of those strawberry Capri Suns