@timdonakowski: Anyone else bite their bottom lip and make a noise when inserting your headphone plug? Me neither.
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@JennyJohnsonHi5: How do you tell your spouse you were fired from SpaghettiOs for honoring Pearl Harbor Day with a smiling cartoon noodle holding a flag?
@Marcmywords2: I hate when you go to a surprise party, and all anyone wants to do is talk about your drug problem.
@causticbob: God said: 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan"