@PimpBillClinton: Anyone else wake up in a grass skirt and coconut bra?
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@KKAlThani: Here's what I know about girls. If she's angry, it will pass. If she goes silent, leave the country, change your name & start a new life.
@Lazer_Cat_: Look grandma. You told me to bring something to the wake. If you meant a casserole, you should have said so. Now help me load this drum kit.
@mattsurely: *wife comes home* "Did you fix the toilet?" Yep! [she opens door & is hit by avalanche of plums] "You called the plummer again you idiot!!!"