@osno13: anyone here with one leg? i have a ton of socks you can have
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@shkeeber: "Knock knock" Who's there? "Russia" Russia who? "Get out of the house. I live here now."
@semple42: There's this woman in my office who is wearing the same outfit as yesterday and she reeks of tequi......ok it's me.
@Stexcy: Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse.
@Brianhopecomedy: I hope that the missing puzzle piece my 5 year old has been searching the house for has nothing to do with my 2 year old's burp.