@sarcasticmommy4: Anyone know a Minecraft interpreter? I don't understand my son's Christmas list.
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@OhNoSheTwitnt: I consider myself Christlike in that I refuse to believe my parents ever had sex with each other.
@HallpassCanada: Everyone always wants to date the hot crazy chick.....Till you're standing outside watching your house burn.
@yaboydil: [In elevator] Penguin: what floor do you want? Man: 5th please. *penguin accidentally slaps all the buttons with his fin*