@InThaBurbs: Anyone know the second rule of fight club?
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@LunchJournals: "I'm a big fan of 50 cent. Or as he's known in Zimbabwe: four hundred million dollars."
@LurkAtHomeMom: My husband just left town for a work trip. I didn't want him to miss out on anything so I made him a mixtape of the kids whining.
@zacharyflynn: Hey babe i wanted to marry you but i had to ask your dad first and he said yes so i guess i'm marrying your dad
@queuethorn: mom: what's that internet thing called, "scream shitting"? me: ... me: shitposting? mom: SHITPOSTING.