@gavinspeiller: Anyone under the age of 21 should be legally required to end every sentence with the phrase "but there's a good chance I'm wrong about that"
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@TheMichaelRock: My 13yo just dumped his girlfriend and now he's attempting to get his hoodie back. He's in for one hell of a life lesson.
@mollymcnearney: Woman cut me off, stole my parking spot. I honked, flipped her off and went into yoga. Woman came into class as the instructor. Namaste.
@i_theindian: When your nose is running and your feet smell, you are not sick you're just built upside down.