@gavinspeiller: Anyone under the age of 21 should be legally required to end every sentence with the phrase "but there's a good chance I'm wrong about that"
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@VancityReynolds: Being a father is the single greatest feeling on earth. Not including those wonderful years I spent without a child, of course.
@PaperWash: GF: every time we fight you start interpretive dancing *i dance beautifully for 12 minutes* GF: I DONT KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!
@Royceda59: I bought condoms. Cashier asked if I needed a bag, I said no she's not that ugly RT @HeroinHadley:Tweet something inspirational. I need it.