@HeyZeus666: Anyone who doesn't believe in life after death has never walked away from a lousy job.
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@TheTweetOfGod: You know how when you're in sixth grade and you love someone you express it by being mean and throwing rocks at them? That's Me. I love you.
@DiGiornoPizza: Imagine a world without pizza. No, no, stop crying this was just pretend I'M SORRY TRY AND CONTROL YOURSELF I'M SORRY
@OutOfLeftField_: The Police asked me to make a statement so I stripped naked and ran around the precinct shouting, "Save the whales!"