@sacca: Anyone who says "Let's all put our phones down and talk with each other," is just running out of battery and needs a charge.
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@gianni_bcn: [Spelling Bee] Your word is inception "Can you use it in a sentence?" [Spelling Bee] Your word is inception
@TheDeadfishSays: "Everything the light touches is ours," I tell my son while opening the fridge.
@DaddyBeerGuy: Child protective services? Who's protecting the parents Huh? WHO'S PROTECTING THE PARENTS?
@dafloydsta: WIFE: I'm tired of you living in a fantasy world ME: *imagining she's Kate Upton* You always say that, Kate WIFE: Who is Kate? WHO IS KATE?