@BubblesnBooze: Anyone who says time flies, has obviously never been on a treadmill.
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@dom_dot_dom: A Serial Killer Known For Ripping Out Tounges Entered The Buzzfeed Office And What He Did Next Left Us Speechless
@Brampersandon_: DAD: u can grow up to be anything u want ME: imma be a hamster D: ok not that M: *already building an elaborate series of tubes to run thru*
@Midgetspar: Remember: You can kill someone and wear their skin as a suit, but it's not identity theft until you use their debit card. Be smart about it.
@tchrquotes: Wife: I'm going to grab some dinner, you want anything? Me: No thanks, I'm stuffed. Wife: Ok, I'm going to Taco... Me: I'll have 9 tacos.