@BubblesnBooze: Anyone who says time flies, has obviously never been on a treadmill.
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@shkeeber: Accepting a Facebook friend request from someone you follow on twitter is like bringing home your drug dealer to meet your family.
@lurve_meh: They say kill 'em with kindness but it's much quicker if you just take their phone charger away.
@therealeatwood: [In this tweet spoons fall in love harder than anyone] “My darling I am a spoon for you, you fill my world with frogs” [and frogs are joy]