@BubblesnBooze: Anyone who says time flies, has obviously never been on a treadmill.
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@OhNoSheTwitnt: "I mean if you do the math the most weight I can really gain from the pound of pumpkin pie I ate tonight is only one pound" I thought fatly.
@KeetPotato: [on date] girl: "id like to if i met mr right, how bout you? have you ever been married" henry the eighth: "our food sure is taking a while"