@BubblesnBooze: Anyone who says time flies, has obviously never been on a treadmill.
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@iGreenMonk: Annoucement: At my funeral, all my tweets shall be recited. I will then haunt whomever leaves first, demanding honest feedback for eternity.
@WilliamAder: When your pet is staring at you, it's probably thinking "I wonder how long those things live."
@torrami: Our wifi is down and I had to fap using only my imagination like some kind of savage :(
@jonnysun: JOB INTERVIEWER: it says here ur a postmodern deconstructivist…? ME: did ur parents realy name u 'Job'? especialy with a last name like urs?