@dshack8: Anyone who's ever stood in a busy McDonald's line at 10:29am not knowing what to get has been closer to getting murdered than they realize.
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@iwearaonesie: Cost of the ice cream my kid threw a tantrum in the grocery store to get: $5 The look on his face when I ate it for dinner: priceless
@TheBoydP: The "free milkshakes for a month" contest I just won is telling me my month's supply of shakes is 5 shakes. Yeah 5 should last me a month...
@TheBoydP: Protip: If you're walking in your office taking deep breaths because someone made popcorn, don't forget to stop as you enter the restroom.