@dshack8: Anyone who's ever stood in a busy McDonald's line at 10:29am not knowing what to get has been closer to getting murdered than they realize.
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@dafloydsta: ME: I assume you don't want your dog to see this? *slides over pic of him with another dog* JUDGE: *sweating* Bailiff, release this man.
@Darlainky: I just misread genetic as generic. I don't know whether to blame the poor eyesight I inherited from my dad or these store brand reading glasses.
@TheCatWhisprer: We save women and children first because the dads have to make sure all the lights are off and the thermostat is set appropriately.