@dreamthievin: ANYTHING can be considered your job if you hate it enough.
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@djdarrellripley: Waitress: Would you like an omelet? Me: Sure. Put it in a martini glass with gin and no eggs...
@LoveNLunchmeat: My kid asked how the Easter bunny gets inside the house and I'm very uncomfortable with the amount of lying this parenting gig requires.
@addmoreninjas: That's nice that you're a Christian now. Could you maybe be a Christian a little quieter?