@mstluvstrinkets: Anything I accomplish before I finish my first cup of coffee has been fueled by rage.
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@underchilde: Today we’ll be discussing near-death experiences and why not to talk to your girlfriend about weight gain.
@Prof_Peejay: Students, unfollow me now. Tonight's drunk subtweets might sting a little. Especially you Britney. Your lab report was a pile of dog shit.
@POTerritory: "Stop trying to give your words depth and gravitas by attributing them to a faraway old civilization." - ancient Chinese proverb
@TheOneTrueDisco: Cigarettes have warning labels because they are dangerous and addictive yet vaginas are allowed to just roam around freely.