@mstluvstrinkets: Anything I accomplish before I finish my first cup of coffee has been fueled by rage.
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@iliza: A cop was outside my house talking to some people and my first thought was "yesss" because I'm nosey.
@Mr_Kapowski: If you encounter another Dad in the wild wearing a #1 Dad shirt, you must fight to the death. Disneyland has never been so fun
@schmittsteve: "Why won't you loan a neighbor a cup of sugar?" [ sigh ] "You're a pile of ants wearing a bathrobe." [ bathrobe sags dejectedly ]