@Mr_Kapowski: Anytime a frozen meal tells me to "cut holes in film to vent" I pretend like I'm Norman Bates with a knife, complete with sound effects
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@nerdreign: Preparing a work evaluation for someone who adds shit to my day on a regular. Wondering if "inbred whackadoodle" paints a full picture.
@5oulhealer: A study says sugar is as addictive as smoking, alcohol and cocaine. Now I have to worry about testing positive for skittles!
@chuuew: My friend's getting rich by selling photos of koi in clothes. He says it's as easy as shooting fish in apparel.
@DBMaxP: Dear lady arguing w/ the clerk over whether or not it is "good" champagne: YOU ARE IN A GAS STATION!