@Neauxpe: Anytime a religious organization follows me I just assume I'm being used as a case study/example and they are praying super hard.
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@IamEveryDayPpl: Boss: "Do you have a Twitter account?" Me: "Umm... Yo no hablo inglès." Boss: "Tienes una cuenta de Twitter?" Me: *fakes a seizure*
@eedrk: doctor: you know how to measure your bowel movements me: yeah of course doctor: you weigh yourself before and after me: [15 Sec pause] yeah
@eye_spyder: You hear about that roman ruler who found the fountain of youth? Emperor constant teen.